When The Girls Next Door premiered in 2005, the world got a glimpse into Hugh Hefner’s mansion, and more specifically, his creepy/fascinating relationships with women young enough to be his granddaughters.

But as each season unfolded, viewers got to know (and love) Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson. So much that we could almost overlook their relationship with the old coot — oops, we mean Hugh Hefner.

So when the new girls — Crystal Harris, and twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon — moved into the neighborhood, we wondered: How did they compare to their predecessors?

No. 1s
Ever since Hef started having multiple girlfriends, one woman has always headed up the pack.
Over the first several seasons of Girls, Holly really grew on us. She proved to be smart and funny, and had an endearing maternal instinct for her dogs, and for people visiting the mansion. She was always planning parties, making snacks and buying thoughtful gifts for the other women. We also liked her love affair with old Hollywood movies and that she aspired for a career at Playboy.
Crystal seems like a nice lady, but her young age (23) means she doesn’t have a lot of the social graces that come with age. Holly wasn’t much older (she’s 29 now), but she seems like an older soul. And God knows if you’re gonna be with a geriatric man, you need that.
Old Girls: 1
New Girls: 0

THE OTHER GIRLS
Kendra and Bridget were totally different from one another, and their personalities kept things interesting. Kendra’s athletic abilities and love for sports offered a tomboy feel in a pretty package. Bridget — who was the classiest of the O.G.s (or at least as classy as you can be when you spend a lot of time wearing undergarments as clothing) — was as sweet as can be, but also had career ambitions beyond being Hef’s girlfriend.
In the new camp, the twins are pretty much carbon copies of one another in almost every way. And frankly, a little bit goes a long way… two of these ladies is one too many. They are constantly repeating each other’s profound statements — “Shut UP!,” “Oh my God!,” “Heh heh haha heh” — and it gets old real fast.
Kendra’s vocabulary skills were about on par with the twins, but at least Bridget could hold a conversation that was a notch up from Beavis & Butt-head.
Old Girls: 2
New Girls: 0

CHEMISTRY
On the surface, it was hard to believe that Holly could possibly have chemistry with Hef, but she really did seem to care deeply for him and (*shudder*) be sort of attracted to him.
However, this new crop of girls cannot even fake it. When Hef told Crystal she was going to be a Playmate, their kiss seemed totally forced and insincere. And when the twins kissed him at a fake camping trip, held on mansion grounds, they were the kind you’d give your grandpa… which is approprite, I guess.
Epic FAIL.
Old Girls: 3
New Girls: 0

LOOKS
Normally, we wouldn’t stoop to such a level as to compare appearances. But hey, Playboy allegedly only features on gorgeous girls, so in this case, we feel entitled.
Crystal is stunning, with a radiant smile. And twins, by nature, are hot, mysterious and definitely a novelty. We like that Karissa and Kristina’s bodies are natural (read: normal sized breasts). But their faces? Meh. If you compare their pre-television photos to now, you’ll see they got blonded up and made over and still only look mediocre. Meanwhile, Holly, Kendra and Bridget are like three real-life Barbie dolls. They embody everything Playboy stands for.
Old Girls: 4
New Girls: 0

ADVENTURES
For the original girls, just hanging around the house could be an adventure. They worked on little arts and crafts projects, played with their goofy dogs, pranked each other and mansion staffers, had family members visit and more.
So far, the new girls have staged a camping trip on the grounds (yawn), gone to Vegas (been there, done that), learned how to roller skate (blah) and tried to master a stripper pole (mildly entertaining). But frankly, I feel no compulsion to DVR this new season. The new girls’ personalities just aren’t compelling enough for me to care.
Old Girls: 5
New Girls: 0

Bottom Line: This is the most lopsided Throwdown ever. If your sole purpose for watching is to see pretty blonde girls go about their business for 30 minutes a week, you’re not going to change the channel. But if you loved The Girls Next Door for Holly, Bridget and Kendra, well, this is one half hour of your life you can re-dedicate to reading.
And luckily, you can still keep up with the original girls on Twitter.

By Maisy Fernandez